I’m not sure how to pen such an epic saga-
I guess there’s no place to start but the beginning.
Our night started just like any other. Kelly and I shared a bottle of great Pinot Grigio from the Veneto. It started to pour and this only encouraged our travels. As we headed to the bar, a few of us decided that we had been patronizing Eddie’s too frequently. We went to our first bar which we were quite fond of and not to sure why we left. Eddie’s is pricy. It’s 5 euros a drink which is about $7 or so. I’m used to my road sodas and $3 PBR’s. I love my wine too- I’m not completely tasteless.
Christian ordered an absynth. I was in video mode and recorded it on my phone but I can’t quite figure out the bluetooth upload. I’ll upload the videos once we get home. The abysnth process at this bar is super alluring. The bartender poured the thick green substance into the glass (the stupid euro trip movie was running through my head and I felt so stupid thinking about that.) Next he placed a spoon and a sugar cube on top of the glass, poured some - lighter fluid? - and set the drink on fire. Holy smokes. I was fascinated. I tried a sip of it and it tasted sortttt of like hot rubbing alcohol mixed with ammonia and hydrogen peroxide. An instant classic! We payed our respects and headed to the competing pub.
At this bar, there were small signs that read all different universities from all over the world. The walls were covered in these things, decorated in yellow highlighter and illuminated by black light. Caroline decorated a Ramapo College one and it was tacked up for eternity - or at least until the bar goes out of business. We had un shot de italia on the house. It was also pretty entertaining to watch. The bartender meticulously poured unknown liquids into the shot glass. The dispersion separated the liquids into red, white, and green. Of course- nothing is more interesting to a drunk person than fire - con fuoco!
The girls spotted some gremlins creeping in on us. We entertained them for a few moments but found some real life southerners. The one girl was an absolute train wreck. I felt bad for Christian who had to talk to her. Her tacky eye glitter was melding with her sweaty mascara and her speech was slurred. A real winner! The guy I was speaking too was the epitome of the south as well. He was from Georgia and I had to leave the conversation because he just was not interesting at all.
We’ll refer to the two Venice children as Gremlin 1 and 2. Gremlin 1 was interesting. They had a posse of Gremlin children in tow probably about age 15. They were not the cute kind either, definite encounter with water. We chatted for awhile. His english was OK but we primarily spoke in Spang-iano. This bar was a bit scary. The police were patrolling and the bartender was continuously watching with a nervous look on his face. Time to split-
The rest of the group was still at Eddie’s and group gremlin followed us. We had a pretty interesting conversation about homosexuality. Gremlin 1 was OK with it. He said as long as they don’t make a move on him, to each their own. He even had a gay friend for Christian! I’ll believe it when I see it. We also discussed how people don’t buy girls drinks here. We somehow finagled our way into Piccolo Mondo courtesy of group gremlin. Most went home and we were pretty much the only people there.
On our master escape from the gremlin’s talons, we encountered a lovely boy from - the states. I think upstate NY but I can’t remember. He was backpacking and somehow got separated from his group. His hostel was called “The Venice Fish.” Umm- ok. So the three of us decided to go on an adventure to help this poor kid. Along the way we were all enchanted by this amazingly fragrant smell. We found a bakery! They were mass producing all the tourist bread. I knocked and poked my head in. We were greeted by a very lovely boy. I asked for a piece to share (feeling a bit like orphan Annie) and he disappeared for a moment. He returned with an entire bag full of assorted loaves! It was heaven!
We thanked him and went on our way to the Venice Fish. It is a real place just in case you were wondering...
Found some cops, took a tour of the Rialto. The poor kid probably won’t remember a thing. He was lucky to have such savvy tour guides. Finally we left him in the Realto mercado. We had no idea, but hopefully it was closer.
I just looked at the map and it was by the train station. There’s a pretty hefty grand canal in the middle - poor guy. Hope he was OK.
The girls and I started our journey back...
Does this sound a bit generic? Stay tuned for part two, it'll be worth the wait...
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